Arkansassy

This is reallly cool guy I got to meet at Samford. I decided since I didn’t go to his show when he played here, I should make a post about him. He is rad. I hope we get to hang out this summer. Secretly, I have some eyes for him. Keep yours on him too. He’s called Riley Schilling Moore

I would like to get started on one of these. which will work well with my hoarding capabilities. winning.

On August 21st, I will be the only single woman in my family. But, I couldn’t be happier. Love my big sis. 

I realize I haven’t posted in…ok, literally months, BUT life is a crazy mess of coming and going and sometimes I drown in my lists of social medias. I’ve got my arm floaties now so eh, should be just fine. It’s not like I have upset my many…ok, like 2 followers. 

Tumbling to me is like a stress relief. A diary if you will…reminds me of my little kitty cat journal from age 7! Guess my parents would spring for the technological device with the voice password and key pad. Kind of glad they didn’t. I was perfectly happy with my kitty pad and purple gel pen. Wish I had that right now for some kicks and giggles. I was a quirky youngin’.

In 1st grade I discovered a way to dye that lame ole white Elmer’s glue to whatever color I desired. Using markers and Kleenexes, I started my own little business. Like who thinks of that? Bored 1st graders… “Hey, Jennie, wan’t purple glue? I can make it for you…but it will cost you that Jello cup from your lunch box.” Need I say more. Genius. 

Now, I’m a sophomore in College sitting in an upper level Art History class…look how far I’ve come…minus the fact that I’m Tumbling about the past instead of note taking. Don’t judge. 

Even though I’m 20 years old (don’t think I have ever typed that out before, woah) I’m still a child at heart. The current back ground on my bright blue and yellow covered iPhone is a photo of two baby pigs covered in paint. I want a baby pig, naturally. Imagine that sweet farm animal on a leash! Also, I’m wearing pastel green Keds. Staple clothing for me. Judge if you want (my two followers who no longer post)…so comfy. 

I love to sneak around in my TOMs, but I love to dance in my Keds…truth. 

I’m craving Dunk-a-Roos and thinking about Gumby that cute little green creature in the stop motion cartoon from my past. I have no explanation for these thoughts. Concerning? Eh, Typical. 

In conclusion…Dear Ms. Kauffman, at this point you could literally do nothing to make me pay attention to the Byzantine Empire Art and the Harbaville Triptych. My mind has taken a vacation back to the good ole days…1st grade to be exact. Sincerely, Stevi

I could say so much.

I’m just so tired.

I miss my friends.

I love SBP and my friends here.

don’t wanna go.

love my co workers. have gotten really close.

zta is stressing me. what to do what to do…

will this boy please quite texting me.

chronic headaches and awful stomache pains.

gaining so much weight.

mom.

new mind set…actually working.

happy but tired. 

can’t find the time to have a conversation with anyone outside sbp.

i have a crush.

he likes someone else.

ha o well.

could go on forever.

gotta move on.

so much to do!

“Would you like the meal or just the sandwich?”…beep beep beep.

“Anything to drink with that?”…beep beep.

“Anything else for you today?”….beep.

“Would you like that for here or to go?”…beep beep beeeeeeeep.

The usual. The normal. The typical. The cycle of my job.

It becomes second nature…an annoying at times nature but a part of me now. Throughout the mind boggling orders, finger cramps, aching feet, Bulgarian screams, messed up orders, broken machines, spills, and screw ups…I get my job done…and pretty well if you ask me.

It’s a rush and I can’t begin to write about all the different types of people that I encounter…Sassy elders, clueless foreigners, high and mighty usuals, sick and tired mothers, and the infamous mumblers and mutes.

I can’t even tell you how discouraging this job can be!

I also can’t tell you how one person’s passion and encouragement can bring such a great light to my heart and my day…

Amidst thousands of beeps and lines like “I can help the next person” a face appeared at my register. A guy about my age maybe a little older. No out of the ordinary thoughts… “can I take your order?”

Blah blah blah…mcdonalds mumble jumble.

He asks me about what was tattooed on my wrist and I tell him that it is Colossians 3:23 my favorite scripture and my life verse. Net even a breath later he quotes MY favorite verse back to me! “Whatever you do, do it whole heartedly as if you were working for the Lord and not for men!” I’m hooked…I brighten up and was so excited that he knew it! He said, “So I take it you are a believer?”…”Oh, yeah definitely! I’m actually down here on something called Summer Beach Project with my campus….” I went on to tell him a little bit about what we are here for and he is interested and excited! Because we are in a fast food setting we couldn’t chat for long but as he walks away he yells, “Hey! I’m so glad to see God being glorified through you and your project here!” I could hardly respond through my smile. Let’s say I took the next order with a little more joy than the last. After he had finished his meal…ew…he came back up to me and handed me a napkin with a letter on it and said something like I think its awesome what you are doing and I just wanted to give you this. He handed me the napkin and I received it with a huge smile and a thank you.  The note says….

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all the people especially to those who belong to the family of Believers” Galatians 6:9-10.

Don’t forget our hope is in Jesus Christ Himself. Can’t wait to praise Him with you in this life, or the next, sister. Much love, peace, and grace. –Josh”

This literally made. My. Day. His passion for God’s Kingdom and overall kindness AND his encouraging words and choice of scripture was EXACTLY what I needed. Think about how that verse would apply to the life of a spoiled little Arkansas college girl working in a McDonalds for the summer. I shouldn’t grow weary…I will reap so many benefits for this… I have an opportunity to reflect Christ to so sooooooooooo many people. And sometimes I get really lucky and run into other believers who are just excited to bump into me and realize that we get to praise an unbelievable God together. AUH so many things I could say on this. Maybe I’ll leave it at…God is SOOOO good!

I folded up the napkin and put it in my pocket (now its hanging on my wall in the sandman) and went back to work with more enthusiasm. A song pops in my head….majesty…”forever I am changed by your love, in the presence of your majesty” I keep thinking I hear it. I DO! McDonalds cranked up the tunes and for once it wasn’t creepy elevator music but praise and worship! ALL DAY! ALL MY FAVORITES! I sang all day no lie! Amanda, a fellow SBP co worker excitedly approaches me later and tells me how she met a family in the lobby who complimented the music and she shared with them about SBP and they prayed with her!

I’ll say it again: GOD IS GOOD. He came to McDonalds…let’s just say he took his order from me “for here” and never left. How amazing it was to see him reveal Himself so many different times just in a typical day flippin burgers and takin orders.

On a side note…got so excited to tell the story that I called my mom and almost blurted out that I had a tattoo since it IS the story…covered it up. Hilarious. Close call but made it out alive! 

I struggle with thinking I’m better than other people.

I used to have some type of hate for my brother.

I voted for myself for homecoming queen cause I didn’t think I was going to win.

I went into a small depression stage when I was a sophomore in high school.

I sometimes/used to really want to have a short rebel phase. Like run away…all of it.

I kinda hate being around my entire family at times.

Old people can really get on my nerves.

I used to hate being touched…things change.

I told one of my best friends my darkest secret when she was w.a.s.t.e.d.

I am a dirty mouth biotch when I drink…only happened twice.  Bad decision.

There are two people on project I can’t stand being around at times.

I’ve never pictured my wedding day…I’m a bad girly girl.

I honestly think I am too picky to ever find the right guy+guys never really wanna talk to me.

I hate “that girl” who all the boys like…I used to be one.

I wish the girl in my room would stop asking me ridiculous questions.

I hate not being in control of conversations at times.

When I want to say something but feel like I can’t I run away.

I wanted to run away so many times in high school.

If I could do anything I would want to be a musician…singer….

I never had that “best friend” and my family thought there was something wrong with me because of that and I started to agree in about 10^th grade.

The top song played on my iTunes is The Notebooks lil theme song…hopeless romantic.

I can’t remember the last time I really cried.

I get bored with my life…imagine dramatic events that could happen to make it seem more interesting.

I don’t tell anyone anything.

I hate talking on the phone. I will screen calls.

I want to be president.

I love messing with fire.

I like making decisions…but don’t make them on the spot.

I make lists.

I’m afraid of being judged. Pleasing people is my biggest struggle. Col. 3:23

I can just be plain mean. I don’t want to be.

Arkansas doesn’t feel like home anymore.

I’m addicted to Goodwill and Salvation Army stores.

To be continued…. 

i’m sitting in mcdonalds. not even the one i work at…

i’ve hit THAT point in my summer.

as much as i love being here in florida on summer beach project there is always the inevitable, silent, and creeping ware on me that takes place. 

i haven’t been this close to crying in a while. don’t even ask why cause i don’t know where to begin. it’s everything adding up and up and up and beginning to make me sway just a tad. not about to stumble or fall. just kinda at that place where im just getting a little tired. feeling that pressure for sure.

my mind and my heart are full with God’s awesome convictions, reconciliation, and mercy.

my mind is trying to fit in other things like…

“would you like fries with that”…when do i have time to sleep…holy cow i have school and future to think about soon…i wish i could be a musician…man i need to do some laundry…did i just pick up a hitch hiker…supposedly my debit card is suspended so says the automated voice from ontario canada…”faithfully”…money…girl telling me she wanted to be a chi oh from my high school who is coming to samford. ehh nooo

getting annoyed with one girl here…she is socially messed up and snaps at me and steals my food and make up and like yelled at me to drive her somewhere tonight and when i wasn’t done reading my book she yelled at me to give her my keys. back down chica…i WILL snap.

the people i want to hang out with here are already in their clicks and i they can’t seem to find any room for me…never happened to me before.

there are those people who i just need a break from…those who just kinda wear on ya after a while even though i do love them.

i’m mad at myself for not keeping up with my quiet time this past week and that’s my goal this week. dive into His Word. nothing else…

had a tease visit from my best friends this weekend. seems ike it almost never happened and i hate it! auh come back…starting to tear up…man sitting in front of me is probably getting a kick outta this. o wait he just hit on me. awesome.

why am i so emotional tonight. this isn’t like me. called my mom…she helped. she’s says i’m dealing with lack of rest…lack of alone time which holy cow i miss so much. when i don’t get alone time i have these dramatic crashes where i hit the bottom and go nutts.

my friend shelly asked me why i was so quiet today…i’m never quiet unless i’m stuck in my head.

God is showing me so so SO much already about myself and absolutely everything. 

nutshell: thought i was fine before. firm in my faith. found my identity in being what i though was the “good girl”. man was i off. stuck in the shallow end of my faith. no wait…i was in the kiddie pool outside my faith. because i was in water i convinved myself i was swimming right along where i needed to be when i was actually drowning…in the kiddie pool. tried to doggie paddle to the side. tried to violently swimming towards the side. couldn’t find it. got frustrated with myself. blamed others. blamed my situations for getting me here. was just gonna wait till i hit the bottom then realized God had thrown me a floatation device and had been floatin there the whole time. grabbed on. stood up. got out of the kiddie pool and into the ocean. i’m ready to seriously dive in. i know there will be undertones and currents that will pull on me harder than the kiddie pool did, but i’m a lil stronger now. i don’t wanna stay in the ocean for just the summer but forever…back at home…back at school for sure. 

I like metaphors and analogies.

busy week coming up. i’m scared haha. 

just got a good pay check though yeaaaaah haha.

most random blog ever. most random mood ever. most random night ever. 

i miss my friends already.

peace, blog. till we meet again….maybe next time i’ll be a lil more optimistic and happy. 

-I hate fish…eating it or the thought of them being in the water with me…im having a problem with watching them on the television now too. EW

-I have always dreamed about having a pet baby chick…when it starts to grow up I want to exchange it for another baby one.

-My life goal is to catch a pine cone falling off a tree before it hits the ground.

-I can laugh myself to death by looking up all the funny tricks and pranks you can play on people…especially in walmart. no one else thinks they are funny.

-I want to live of the earth for like a week to see if I can do it.

-My ultimate fears are sharks, flying fish, and creepy birds. funny how those progress. oh and pickles. and crawly creatures.

-I have some crazy road rage…I yell at people and have full blown conversations with them and I am just not a pleasant driver. 

-Within like a couple weeks I ate about 50 oz of m and ms.

-I like designing tshirts and little designs just for fun.

-I can’t focus on a class or sermon or meeting without doodling…if I don;t doodle I day dream.

-I have certain daydreams that have been around for years that pop in my head during certain songs and times and I can’t control it.

-I have never pictured my wedding day…nope.

-Never had a real boyfriend…guess I’m on of those girls. haha yeaaaay

-I was supposed to be a boy…they misread the sonogram. awesome. 

-I love re arranging my room. does that mean i can’t commit?

-I have never got homesick since like 5th grade.

-I hate talking on the phone for some reason.

-I had a dream sequence that spanned over three nights…first night: prego from being raped, second: prego from doing the dirtay with the bf, third: was married and got prego. odd

-I have dreams still today that I had when I was like 6.

-I used to hate being touched….HATE. IT. things change tho

-I have dreams about being a musician. bahaha

-I don’t like pants….love shorts and skirts and dresses/

-I wish I had freckles.

-I don’t like tiger woods. cheater.

-I woke up three nights ago in a panic thinking I was at work and yelled out, “Would that be all for you?” help.

-Mr. and Mrs. Smith the movie put me into depression.

-I mistook the eggs for sponges at McDonalds. please don’t eat those.

-I have a mini crush.

-The first thing I see in guys is their smile, then the eyes, well the hair, and all the other stuff now that I think of it. haha

-I love eating competitions.

-I have a ton of secrets…I share none. Idk why…no one can keep their mouths shut.

-I had a crush on my youth pastor once…he got kicked out for drinking and gambling and flirting with girls. yup

-I’m a fantastic liar. 

-I want to rebel so bad and just do something crazy.

-I want to invent my own language.

-Life is short…don’t dance with unattractive boys.

-I laugh in really non laughable situations. its a major problem

-I said I would never get a facebook. I did.

-I said I would never get a twitter. I did.

-I said I would never get a blog. mmmm hmmm I did.

-I could talk forever.

-I love scavenger hunts.

-I eat ketchup with my grilled cheese…yummmm.

-I’m tired.

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically as something done for the Lord and not for men.”

I can’t believe I drove 14 hours from home and am living in Florida, working at McDonalds, making new amazing friends, sharing a room with three other girls, and deepening my walk with Christ.

What. A. Blessing.